Depression

“Some people feel rain, others just get wet"

– Bob Marley

Depression is a lonely place, a place that feels hopeless, meaningless, can’t concentrate, can’t make decisions, can’t sleep properly, it’s a place where we feel trapped; that nothing will change; no-one can help, we push them away and withdraw; from life itself.

We lose connection, we lose empathy, we retreat as our emotional compass spins away to itself, we feel as if we are out of control, we respond by becoming numb, all we can feel is guilt, anxiety and shame.

We cannot feel joy, don’t enjoy what we used to, no excitement, no sexual arousal; even anger and sadness are blocked, we may hide ourselves in work, turn to alcohol or drugs or porn; anything to not think about where we really are, we are overwhelmed, fearful, we think nothing and no-one can help.

We wake up exhausted, the secondary narrative in our heads not quietened during the night, depression is secondary to something, a problem, an issue that is not resolved and sinking into depression makes it so much harder to activate the problem solving part of our brain, we just turn those same thoughts over, over and over again.

Depression is deeply personal, it attacks the way we think about ourselves, our identity and self-worth, it is also a sign that something is wrong, something we believe cannot be resolved but, it can, there is a way out; its just difficult to see right now, you or someone you love is reading this and that’s a start, there is no waiting till you reach rock bottom, that’s not necessary or helpful.

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If you are having suicidal thoughts it may be an idea to go online and complete the PHQ9 test, its useful, sometimes medication is a good idea when combined with counselling and, it may help you to take the next step.

If you have been depressed for quite a while your Seratonin levels have probably dropped and, a bit of help is good, doesn’t mean you are a failure, nobody is a failure but sometimes things in life seem to go pretty wrong and its managing those events or conflict that needs to be addressed.

In the depths of depression its easy to believe that no-one knows how you feel, no-one has felt this bad but, surely its time to try something, something that just may make the change you so badly need, find perspective and a way out.

NOTE: If you do see your G.P., tell them how you feel, if you are thinking about ending your life; tell them, they will understand how tired you are of looking for a way out and they can help, take care.

Copyright © Ros Welch 2020. All rights reserved

What are clients say?

BS, Aylesbury

I just wanted to write to you to thank you for what you’ve done for me. I’m not writing myself off as ‘healed’ or ‘finished’ as I’m sure I’ll be back to you soon with a new plate of issues for you to solve for me but for now I just wanted to say, thank you. I see things so differently since I’ve had my sessions with you and I haven’t had any serious depression or really bad down days since I’ve met you. I still get caught up in negative thoughts and still struggle with day to day issues with my but I can honestly say I’m able to talk myself out of getting too far into doom and gloom so much easier since the sessions. It’s like you did some fine tuning in my brain and whenever I’m feeling angry or down I think, “what would Ros say?” And more often than not its enough to snap me out of my thought process and make me see things with a more positive perspective. I’m sure I’ll be walking back down your beautiful garden soon but for now I just want to say thanks again for giving me back some sanity and sense of well being.

Anon

When I started seeing Ros I had just been signed off work with depression and my doctor had put me on anti-depressants. I was keen to start seeing a counsellor to help me get back on track and gain a different perspective on my troubles. From the moment I met Ros she made me feel at ease and comfortable. Previously I have seen other counsellors but nobody has ever made the breakthroughs and impact that Ros has. Her approach was like a breath of fresh air; caring, honest, understanding, educated, sensible and humorous. She helped me come to an understanding about the causes of my issues, things that previous counsellors had not uncovered, and in turn provided me with tools to address them. I am a keen reader, so Ros recommended great books to read to support our sessions and my learning. These books continue to be a source of help to me. Throughout the sessions Ros helped me to address my communication issues, my new perspective on this has helped my relationship with my husband tenfold. It equipped me with skills and practical applications (the daily thought diary) to help me to talk with my husband. We will be always in Ros’ debt for the difference she has made to our marriage. So, in summary, if you have had counselling before, or if you are completely new to it, I whole-heartedly recommend Ros. Sending the email to her was without doubt, one of the best decisions I have made in my life. Following my sessions with Ros, my outlook and skill-set for coping with what life throws at you has been improved beyond words. I cannot thank her enough

JP, Aylesbury

Right from my first visit with Ros I felt very at ease, I left with some stuff to work on and read up which made me feel more empowered to take my own self and my own life in my own hands. Ros helped me to understand where I came from, why I had become the person I am, both the good and not so good parts. She gave me tools to make the changes I wanted to make in the relationships closest to me and also in the way I viewed and treated myself. Thank you for being so easy to talk to, so encouraging, refreshingly frank at times and really quite funny