Many self-defeating behaviours have their roots in the past, they once gave us comfort or courage but now we feel controlled by them, they cause pain, embarrassment and often cannot be kept secret. We address that pain, that past need, examine the behaviours detrimental affects, the adapted lifestyle looking for realistic alternatives for a different future.
“It is hard because it involves letting go of the hope that you had, that restricting your eating would solve the other problems in your life”.
Kate Middleton
Causes:
It may be a diet that got out of hand, it may be the need to feel temporarily in control, to dampen the emotions, numb your feelings, distract from emotional pain. It may be an urge to punish yourself, an expression of disgust like self harm.
Confusing facts with feelings; ‘I feel fat therefore I am fat’, ‘I
feel out of control, I am out of control’, ‘I cannot control my eating,
Iam useless!’, ‘I’ve broken my diet I may as well eat what I like”
Facts:
You may try to control your weight by vomiting after a binge but only 30-50% of the calories consumed are lost.
Vomiting increases insulin levels, this tells your body that you are hungry.
Overall binging and vomiting will increase your body weight. Vomiting also affects the heart causing palpitations.
Laxatives are almost useless, using them only rids the body of 12% of the calories consumed and regular usage can lead to anal leakage…ugh!
Weight control by excessive exercise can burn off calories but also increases hunger level,s the urge to binge and burn off can become a nasty pattern.
Dental erosion, dehydration and water retention, mood swings, loss of interest in sex, need for secrecy, relationship breakdown, social avoidance, obsession, apathy, irregular heartbeat, loss of periods, IBS.
The road to recovery has started, it started when you recognised that you need help for your problem, there are self help books, I strongly recommend ‘1st steps to recovery’ by Kate Middleton or, there are therapists like myself who will help you to understand how and why it started.
“It is likely that your eating disorder is controlling you and reducing the amount of control you have in other areas of your life”
Once upon a time the eating disorder was a help to you, it gave you the private space in your head that you needed to make you feel safe, we have to go back, to find the you that chose that form of control and what thoughts maintain your behaviour.
We have to identify when you are most vulnerable and develop an alternative healthy coping strategy.
We have to find out what it is you fear may happen if you make that change, and to consider what may happen if you do not make the change.
We will identify goals:
It depends on trust and honesty, it can be as few as 5 if you can put in the work, if it gets to 10 there is something not happening, we have to review our relationship and methods. I do work in a challenging style; I find it brings success.