Why Men Don’t Understand Women

In that fairly recent history; the roles played by men and women were quite clearly defined and nature itself determines that the woman primarily takes a caring role to bring up and nurture children whilst the man is protective and provides.

The man would go out and hunt/work, the woman part of a community of other women who would as a collective care for the children and in that need; develop a set of communication skills which relied on friendship for safety.

Men and women still communicate differently, its primal and our brains have developed to allow communication but, not in quite the same way.

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Men are solution focussed, they expect to be asked questions and to have the answers, they are the fixers, the final say, we will most likely have experienced that in childhood and its incredibly difficult to break that pattern.

Women have been brought up to pacify, to please, to care and nurture, of course that is a rule that can be broken but, most women have grown up with their mother as a role model who, cedes a certain amount of power to the man who in going out to work every day (though often women do too), is the major breadwinner and so makes the final decision and holds the power within the marriage.

So, some of this situation is down to money, the core belief a man has that he will need to support a family, yes; it is primal, and in our society a man is still paid more than a woman so, it makes sense.

So, is it just who gets the remote control? By the time we are adult we have had a lifetime of what society expects of us, men are stronger than women, bred to have a narrower focus of thought, to not consider their feelings in the way a woman does, to be practical and less emotional.

Men are brought up to have less self-doubt, to be pleased rather than be the pleaser, to believe they can rather than wondering if they can, it is a fundamentally different way of processing and that’s why a woman can’t think like a man.

What is impossible, is for a man to fully understand a woman (and vice versa), he would have had to have an entirely different environmental experience, he would have had to be brought up as female, to understand how it is possible to believe that someone else’s wishes come before yours, to see your value as being what you can give to others rather than who you are yourself.

I am not disrespecting men here, I believe that we should celebrate our difference and use the way we think differently to good effect, to be a good team but, a team always has leader and always will.

Copyright © Ros Welch 2020. All rights reserved