.. in relationships, at home, at work, sometimes our reactions seem to be an echo from the past difficult to understand and even harder to control.
It may be the way we talk to our own children, our partner, the boss, its recognising who we are in that moment that provides self-awareness and a way to change.
Childhood may have featured emotional neglect, the need to be perfect, erratic parenting, alcoholic or depressed parents, divorce, control, scapegoating or even sexual abuse, it helps to look at our family script, the role constructed for us which defined the person we were likely to become.
The expectations placed upon us, being marginalised at school, feeling isolated, not feeling heard and the sense of not mattering, in working with clients on these issues, we do not seek to level blame, we are all products of our own history and that includes our parents.
It doesn’t have to be dramatic, it can be just a sensation of conflict of inner pain, of not being loved for who we are, rejected, a criticism of simply being of not feeling wanted or validated, having feelings that didn’t count.
We need to recognise these behaviours. To stop them from being a recurring nightmare in the life you live today, we can stop these behaviours, we can see how they were formed and say ‘no more’, we can identify our own values as opposed to those we inherit, find our childhood core belief and make it what you identify as today.
We can rid ourselves of that conflict, come to terms with who we are today and in doing this we do look at where we came from, we look at inheritance of attitudes, environmental impact, we find where you want to be today and the future.
Copyright © Ros Welch 2020. All rights reserved